I keep saying in my posts that I want to get better about writing more. There's a lot of things I find myself wanting to do more and more of. When I go to do things that I really want to do, there always seems to be something holding me back. I don't like this at all. As an over thinker, I am constantly wondering why I'm not taking more pictures, or doing more crafts, or writing more. All things I really love doing and things I want to do. I have come to a couple conclusions.
There are a bunch of things that I do not do because I feel like I have no motivation. I found these photos on Twitter and I couldn't help but notice that they are completely true in every way.
I sent them to a friend of mine because we are a lot alike and I knew she would be as moved as I was by them. Her response was that "there's such a stigma to all of those things. People who don't understand will never understand." I did have to ask what stigma meant (**we will come back to this fact in a little bit) and googled it and once I understood what the word meant I tried to understand what she meant and I asked if she meant that there's disgrace in those statements or disgrace in the fact that some people will never understand. She explained that she meant that there's such a stigma attached to mental illnesses or depression. She explained that some people hide the fact that they are struggling with a mental illness or depression because people will act like you are diseased or won't treat you like a person. This turned my reaction to these posts to a much higher degree of toughness. She couldn't have been more right. For the better part of the past ten years my family has thought of me as just being lazy and have judged heavily about it when in reality I have been battling depression and possibly some health issues relating to sleeping troubles. And even though I have gotten a lot better with some things, I am still struggling. I have struggled with every single one of those things in that picture. I have also struggled with not admitting to these struggles because of the stereotypes that are also in that picture. It is so hard to accept these things and then it is a constant battle to try and overcome them. People that never experienced any of these really have no clue and honestly how would they. No one can fully understand something unless they go through it themselves. In my mind, we just need more compassion in this world especially when it comes to depression, anxiety, mental illness and suicide.
** Back to those stars I put in earlier when I had to ask what stigma meant. In high school, I didn't do well at all. Sure I didn't do work, but when I didn't understand something, I was too afraid to ask a question. I thought I would seem stupid or get made fun of. Ironically, I seemed stupid because of my bad grades as a big result of not asking questions when I didn't understand. In the past few years as I have been growing a lot, I have come to realize that I am not dumb for asking questions fore I am seeking knowledge in the act of asking. I didn't want to be one of those people that act like they know everything about something or heck the people that act like they know everything in general. I wanted to be able to be factual when I talked to someone about something. Even tho I have come to ask more questions, I still felt a little dumb that I asked what a word meant in that conversation with my friend and I told her that. She told me simply that I'm not dumb for not knowing what a word means. I told her that I feel dumb but I no longer am afraid to ask questions. She admired me for that statement and told me, "people who ask questions always become more valuable because they have more knowledge." She is absolutely right and I will encourage anyone I meet or anyone who reads this to ask questions and brush off the people who make fun or look down on you for it because in the long run you will be way better off then they will.
** Back to those stars I put in earlier when I had to ask what stigma meant. In high school, I didn't do well at all. Sure I didn't do work, but when I didn't understand something, I was too afraid to ask a question. I thought I would seem stupid or get made fun of. Ironically, I seemed stupid because of my bad grades as a big result of not asking questions when I didn't understand. In the past few years as I have been growing a lot, I have come to realize that I am not dumb for asking questions fore I am seeking knowledge in the act of asking. I didn't want to be one of those people that act like they know everything about something or heck the people that act like they know everything in general. I wanted to be able to be factual when I talked to someone about something. Even tho I have come to ask more questions, I still felt a little dumb that I asked what a word meant in that conversation with my friend and I told her that. She told me simply that I'm not dumb for not knowing what a word means. I told her that I feel dumb but I no longer am afraid to ask questions. She admired me for that statement and told me, "people who ask questions always become more valuable because they have more knowledge." She is absolutely right and I will encourage anyone I meet or anyone who reads this to ask questions and brush off the people who make fun or look down on you for it because in the long run you will be way better off then they will.
